


Good Vibrations

by TheMomeRath



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Accidental Stimulation, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Play, Explicit Language, M/M, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 08:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1851697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMomeRath/pseuds/TheMomeRath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiccup is hole all alone and he decides he needs a little mechanical lovin'... but he pushes a little too far and ends up learning an important lesson about maintaining a firm grasp on things in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Vibrations

**Author's Note:**

> I am serious when I say that I believe every single pairing needs a fic about a stuck vibrator, no matter how dumb or ridiculous it is.

Hiccup squirmed as he pushed the vibrator against his lubricated hole and grunted as he felt the lubricated object slip through the tight ring. He smiled as he felt the light buzzing inside him and spread his raised legs just slightly, his grip on the bottom of the tiny instrument. Pushing gently, he bit his lower lip as he angled the silicon toy just slightly upward. “Just a little further,” he half-whispered to himself, pushing inwards, trying to find the spot that Jack’s tiny upward curving erection always managed to hit when they were in bed.

Eyes shut tight and eyebrows furrowed in concentration, he moved his hand a little further down the blue vibrator, then pushed with his finger. Just as he felt the firm tip brush against the sensitive spot inside him, his eyes widened when he felt something warm close around his finger.

“Shit.” He frantically stuck another finger into his closing asshole and his already wide eyes grew panicked when he couldn’t grasp the slick vibrator. “Oh, shit…”

The vibration in his rectum did nothing to help his anxiety, and he looked around the room to see if anything around would help him retrieve the object lodged up his anus. When he found none, he flung himself down on his bed again and groaned as his insides buzzed faintly.

 _What the hell am I supposed to do now?_  he asked himself angrily. An idea flashed into his mind, and he sat up and rocked forward onto his hands and knees, then started to try to push. _Is this what childbirth is like?_  He asked himself and laughed quietly, then took a deep breath and tensed his muscles, trying to force the vibrator out like it was an exceptionally large (and buzzing) crap.

Two minutes later, he gasped again and dropped his elbows to the bed. _Fuck. It’s not coming out._

Staring despondently at the pattern of the sheets, he realized very quickly that it wasn’t going to slip out on its own. _I wonder how long until the batteries die?_  he asked himself as the silicon tube whirred away. After a few seconds of helplessly staring forward, he reached to grab his phone on the nightstand and glanced at the clock. _Maybe it will come out on its own…_  Half an hour later, while sitting on the toilet waiting for the foreign object to slip out, Hiccup realised it was not going to happen.

He grabbed his phone from the side of his bed as he gingerly laid down flat on the bed, unsure of what to do with the fact that he now had a sex toy seemingly permanently stuck in his ass- and it was still vibrating when the phone picked up on the other side.

“Hey, Jack? You’re never gonna believe what happened.”

~~~

On the phone, Jack had tried his hardest to hold back giggles when his boyfriend told him about his situation, but Hiccup could tell by the extended not-quite silences on the other end that Jack was definitely muffling laughter behind his pale fingers. Eventually, he pressed the mouthpiece of his phone to front of his pelvis so Jack could hear for himself that he wasn’t lying, and when he brought the phone back to his ear, was greeted by loud guffaws.

“You asshole.” Hiccup rolled his eyes and smiled. “But, really, though. What am I supposed to do now?”

“You-” Jack exhaled quickly, and Hiccup could tell he was still laughing. “Did you try to get it out with something else?”

“Like _what?_ ” Hiccup took a deep breath, then sighed exasperatedly. “I’m not gonna use the salad tongs in the kitchen because I think that would raise some questions-”

“Obviously.”

“-And I already tried with my fingers, but I couldn’t get a grip on it.”

Jack hummed on the other end of the line. “...Maybe you should go to the doctor, then. I know they can get it out.”

“How am I gonna get there? I don’t want to call my dad while he’s at work.” He paused. “I really don’t want to call him if I can help it.”

“Drive yourself.”

“Really? I’m not sure that’s a good idea…”

“Well, if you don’t want to call anybody, you’re basically stuck doing it yourself.” Hiccup could hear the smile in Jack’s voice. “But you’re going to have to tell me how it feels to drive.”

Hiccup shifted uncomfortably. “I can barely lay down without this thing poking all over inside me.”

“Is it still going?”

“It’s been less than two minutes since you asked. But, yeah.”

Hiccup heard Jack’s raucous laugh from the other side. “You should get that taken out as soon as you can, then.”

~~~

Maneuvering through traffic with the constant distraction of the humming five-inch rocket up his butt proved more difficult than he had imagines, so as soon as he pulled into his parking spot at the hospital, Hiccup was immensely relieved. Shoes clomping on the walkway toward the hospital doors, he realized quickly what he was about to do would be a little bit awkward for him and everyone in the waiting room.

Approaching the reception desk, he was greeted by a woman who smiled up at him. _Oh, good,_  he thought, instantly relieved. _She doesn’t know me._

“How can I help you?” she asked with a smile.

“I… I have a slight problem. I have to remove something from my body.” He blinked. “No, I… I have something stuck.”

Quickly typing what he was saying into the appointment computer, the receptionist pursed her lips and nodded. “All right… So what is the object, where is it stuck, and how long has it been there?”

Hiccup flinched, and speaking rapidly, he whispered back, “It’s a vibrator and it’s been stuck up my butt for two hours and it’s still going and I do not know how to get it out.”

The nurse’s eyes moved up from her computer to the skinny teenaged boy standing in front of her. “You’re gonna have to repeat that a little louder, hon.”

Hiccup sighed. “There’s no other way to put this. I have a vibrating dildo inside my ass.”

She nodded and unpursed her lips, a look of sympathy in her eyes. “Oh, hon. Don’t worry about it. We’ve got someone else here who went through the same thing. I’ll let the doctor know and he’ll be out right away.”

~~~

“So, wait, you got the dildo stuck up your ass and then you went to the _hospital_  to get it removed?”

Hiccup glared at the boy who was sitting on his bed holding back laughter. The girl wouldn’t have heard a single detail if it wasn’t for Jack’s big mouth, but now she wanted details. “Yes,” he said through his teeth, “Except it was a vibrator.”

“And the best part is that it was going the _whole time_ ,” Jack added. “He got back home and shat the bed.

Rolling his eyes, Hiccup sighed. “I figured I could do without sharing that part with her; but thanks, Jack.”

Astrid leaned back on her arms and stretched her legs in front of her, taking up a big chunk of the floor next to her friend. “I can barely believe that. The only thing that makes me think that it could be true is the fact that you’re the clumsiest person I know, so if _any_ body got a sex toy stuck, it would be you.”

“Thank you so much for that vote of confidence.” Hiccup drummed his fingers against the bedpost he had his hand wrapped around. “It wouldn’t have happened if this useless piece of boyfriend hadn’t been flying south during spring break.”

“Awh, how sweet. You couldn’t last a week without me.” Jack smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to bring you with next time. Or buy you bigger toys.”

“I think I’ll just stick with the real thing for now.” Hiccup reached up and squeezed Jack’s thigh with a smile creeping across his face. “It gets the job done much better anyway.”

Jack slid his boyfriend’s hand a little further up his leg. “It’s only been a week since you had your adventure… You sure you can handle this?”

“I think I’ll manage.”

“I think this is my cue to remind you that I’m still in the room,” Astrid interrupted quickly, drawing glances from the two boys who had gotten a little lost in their conversation. “Not that I don’t like you and all; but I’m not gonna stay around and watch you get it on, and you already said I could stay until dinner, so it looks like you’re gonna have to wait on that.”

She smirked as she watched Hiccup draw his hand back to his lap. “Glad to see I’m not getting a live show.”

Pausing to enjoy the expression on the brunet’s embarrassed face and Jack’s slightly more amused one, she laced her fingers together and set her hands on her knees, looking back to Hiccup. “So. You should elaborate a little more on how embarrassing it was to explain the bill to your dad.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you laughed.


End file.
